It's Time to Admit It: Are You Your Own Worst Enemy?

OK, time to fess up. It's Monday morning, and the truth is: This week is going to suck big time because you keep doing the same truly, truly stupid things over and over again.

How's that for uplifting career advice? Not exactly what you expected, right?

But the truth is, you keep shooting yourself in the foot, and you keep blaming other people for it. So, in the interest of keeping things simple on a Monday, I'm going to give it to you straight:

You're screwing up, and you have no one else to blame but yourself.

Let me give you some examples and see if you recognize anything familiar:

* You really, really wanted to take a day off. But you didn't want to use one of your vacation days, so you called in sick. That wimpy little cough you faked over the phone didn't fool anyone. Least of all the co-workers who ended up getting stuck with your work while you slathered on the SPF 2 while sunbathing with friends at the beach and drinking Long-Island Iced Teas by the gallon. So now the next time you need you co-workers to help you out, don't be surprised if they suddenly have other things to do -- like count paper clips or read the phone book.

* Being late is not a problem. Well, it's not a problem for you, anyway. Other people may get annoyed at your tardiness, but that's their issue. In fact, you find that you like the power you wield over others because you are late. Everyone has to wait on you, dammit, and that's an awesome feeling. Superman has his cape, Batman has the cave, and you have the power of the clock. But wait: your unwillingness to meet on time has caused the boss to dump you from an important project -- he's afraid you won't be able to meet the deadline of a demanding client. What's all that about?

* You're passionate about what you do. Translation: You're a horse's ass when you don't get your way. You yell, curse, stomp and give a performance DeNiro or Streep would envy. If it's not about you, it should be! You can take just about any situation and turn it into a reason to focus on how much you go through every day, how much you've sacrificed for your job and your employer and how no one gets it BUT YOU. Ahem. Once you rise from the fainting couch or unhinge yourself from the ceiling tiles, don't be shocked to find that people have scattered like cockroaches to get away. That doesn't exactly bode well for any promotion plans you might have, since the only way the boss is likely to get others to accept you is if he arms them with extra-large cans of Raid.

* Technology makes the job bearable. Uh...not because it helps you do your job better. No, this kind of fun comes from shopping online during those boring conference calls, playing some online poker (mama needs a new Burberry purse!), checking out friends' MySpace pages and reading about the latest addition to the Jolie-Pitt litter. Of course, you never feel guilty about this because everyone does it. Maybe you spend a couple of hours (or three or four) on personal stuff, but hey...you don't get paid enough as it is, so this is a little private benefit you've created for yourself. Doesn't really matter -- you don't plan to work at this job forever. In the meantime, ESPN is playing highlights of last night's game...
Of course, you're really pretty peeved when the boss calls you into her office and notes that the IT people have been monitoring your Internet actitivies and oh, yeah, you've just been fired. For not only misusing company time and property, but because it shows what a general screw-up you are.

So, I think you get my point. Some people try to blame their career problems on others. It's the boss. It's the co-workers. It's the company. It's the guy who empties the trash at night.



Sometimes that may be the case. But if it keeps happening to you over and over, it's time to take a look in the mirror -- and realize the real problem in your career is staring back at you.

Are you your own worst enemy -- or know someone who is?


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Sabotaging Your Own Career

I've spent two decades writing about career challenges and how to get ahead. I've interviewed hundreds of experts and read thousands of pages of research material, trying to find the best information I can to help others be successful in their careers.

And here's the one thing I've come to realize: Some of you simply don't want to get ahead.

That's right. There are those of you in the workplace today who are afraid, for one reason or another, of success.

So, while there can be the best career advice in the world out there (ahem), there are still some people who are just going to ignore it because they're afraid of what might happen if they try.

It's time to own up to the fact that your not getting ahead is not the fault of the boss or your co-workers or even the economy. Nope...it rests squarely on your shoulders, my friend. And while I certainly would never attempt to provide the psychological reasoning behind your fears, I can certainly point out some of the fastest ways to derail your career:

Being late. While some work environments have become more flexible, bosses still don't like it when a worker shows up late, whether it's for a meeting or for work. When businesses decide to cut costs, you can bet some of the most vulnerable to the pink slip will be those who have shown little respect for the boss or co-workers by being tardy so many times. You know deep down that being late is a problem, yet you continue to do it, right? So, why are you doing something so obvious that draws so much attention to you in a negative way?

Procrastination. You put things off as long as you can, and then scramble to get a project done on time. The result is that other team members are truly pissed that they are forced to scramble to get the work done right along with you, and the work you turn in is not really quality stuff. You've known for a long time that this work was due, and several team members offered you help, but you declined. Congratulations! You're now officially considered a bottleneck. Don't count on getting that corner office any time soon and don't be surprised when your team members TP your car.

Being unprofessional. This can range from wearing sloppy, inappropriate clothes to work to talking like a surfer dude to telling dirty jokes at staff meetings. If you come off as immature and unprofessional -- whether you're 23 or 43 -- then the boss will have serious reservations about putting you in any kind of situation where you will be representing the company. (For the record, that can range from answering the phone to attending a key meeting with clients to working a company-sponsored charity event.)

Acting like a jerk. When you don't use basic manners that were drilled into you since kindergarten, when you put others down for the way they look or when you act like a pompous, inconsiderate ass, then you're officially acting like a jerk. These kinds of behavior are like an invisible force field that cause people to stay away from you as much as possible. Kiss success buh-bye.

Finally, let me stress that while there are many other ways you can dig your own career grave, the point is to realize that you may need outside help to understand why you are so clearly setting yourself up to fail. If you consistently fall short in meeting your goals, if you don't take advantage of opportunities that come your way -- then it may be time to figure out not just what you're doing wrong but why you're doing it.



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