Responding to a Nasty e-mail at Work

When you get an angry or nasty e-mail from a co-worker, the first thing you probably want to do is fire one back.

"Listen, you moron," you type. "You can take your ridiculous ideas and shove them up your ...."

Wait.

Don't send it. You know better. You understand that it's not smart to put such a message in an e-mail, but when you've been unfairly accused of something, or the co-worker makes snide comments about you or your job performance, you really, really want to respond in kind.

But before you burn up your keyboard typing back a nasty message, let's look at the smarter way to respond:

1. Walk away. Any time you get such a message, physically get away from it. Go to the bathroom, get a drink of water, walk a flight of stairs. Just remove yourself from the message until you get a chance to let your brain come off the "red alert" status.

2. Sit on it. Once you've returned to your computer, you still should not reply right away. If you can, don't even respond that day. But if the issue is time-sensitive, phone the person or talk to him or her face-to-face. Ask for a convenient time to discuss the issue. Be calm: "I just got your message and I think we should talk. When would be a good time for you?"

3. Weed out the uglies. Before your meeting, make note of the facts. NOT the ugly tone or the insults. Once you dissect it, you may see that the person has a point -- maybe you have missed a deadline, or said or did something that caused the co-worker problems. The best way to disarm a volatile situation is to be calm and say: "I think you have a point about communicating better. That's why from now on I'm going to ...."

4. Don't be bullied. If the person again results to insults, you say: "I am not going to be talked to that way. I'd like to talk about the facts and resolve this issue." If the situation again spirals into insults, walk away. You may end up having to involve human resources if the situation continues to deteriorate. Make sure you have a hard copy of the initial e-mail to show them.

5. Learn from it. You may come to understand from that nasty e-mail what it feels like to have someone be so unprofessional. Maybe you've done something similar when you've been peeved and sent an e-mail in the heat of the moment. In that case, you can benefit from No. 1 and 2. Walk away and sit on it. Don't send it. Have a face-to-face conversation or phone call when you've had time to calm down. It's always better to have a personal conversation about a problem, rather than using an impersonal communication method such as e-mail.

Have you ever received a nasty e-mail from a co-worker? What do you think is the best way to respond?


Lijit Search

It's Time to Get Serious About Eliminating Distractions on the Job

The directive is pretty clear from the employment world in these tough economic times: "Remain relevant." But the unspoken addition is this: "Or you could be out on your ear."

Right now, it's critical that you become more focused than ever on your job and your employer. That means the first thing you've got to do is cut down on distractions. Because if you're distracted, you're not as productive, as creative or as critical to your company. While we all know we should turn off the e-mail and check only every couple of hours, there are other distractions that we are less inclined to eliminate.

It's time to get serious. Things are scary out there, and no one can afford to perform at less than 100 percent. It's time to get real, and get tough. Let's talk about some ways that you need to kick your own butt into gear:

* Stop socializing online. I know this is going to get some heat from some people, but I think it's gotten out of control. Right now, we all need time to let our minds relax and recharge by going to a local park with our family or friends or reading something enjoyable. I know one person who recently decided to stop using Facebook. He told me it was something he had been thinking about for a long time, but this week he was brutally honest with himself and said he knew his work was suffering because of the constant distraction of keeping up with his Facebook page and the "social" aspect of it was just too stressful. Here's an interesting aside: Facebook didn't want to make it easy to end the addiction. It asked him the reasons for leaving, and each time he clicked on an answer, a solution popped up. Harden your resolve and step away from MySpace, Twitter and Friendster. If you can't go cold turkey, eliminate all but one or two sites, and never check it at work, unless these sites are part of your job description.

And your personal blog? Think about taking a break. I find many people who started blogs now believe they're nothing more than burden -- just one more task they have to take care of. It's really OK if you decide to take a break or stop altogether -- it it your blog, after all.
If you're not sure how much time you're spending on your social network site, get an old-fashioned timer and set it for 30 minutes. Every time you have to reset it, mark it down. I did this, and was stunned to see that an hour had gone by -- it seemed like I'd only been on it for 15 minutes.

* Quit texting: "Where R U?" may seem innocent enough, but it's the first salvo in a time suck that will have you texting yourself right out of a job. Turn off your personal cell phone or Blackberry and only check on your lunch hour for emergency messages. Ignore everything else until after work.

* Do something monotonous. I came up with my book idea while blow drying my hair. Another friend came up with a great marketing idea while taking a shower. Stop trying to entertain yourself all the time, such as listening to a podcast while working out, or watching YouTube on your laptop while waiting in a airport. Let yourself get bored -- you'll be amazed at how it will turn on your brain and get you thinking more creatively and freely. (I get some of my best column ideas while doing laundry or driving.) It's those creative thoughts that are going to make you stand out at work, to help you remain relevant to your boss.

* Be selective with your information input. The Internet is wonderful because it offers us 24/7 information. The Internet is terrible because it offers us 24/7 information. With the financial mess and the upcoming election, it's tempting to check CNN every 10 minutes. Don't. It won't do your job any good to focus too much on things beyond your control right now. Get your news fix before and after work, either in print or on air, then move onto something else.

* Keep moving. Yeah, exercise is good for you, but moving feet are also a good idea at work. Don't stop to chat in the bathroom, around the coffee pot or anywhere else that seems to be a "bulls**t zone." Just keep moving with a friendly wave and a "I've got a deadline" comment.

What are some ways you've found to cut down on distractions?