Overcoming Fear of Success

One of the great things about being a journalist is that you get to ask a lot of questions and people (generally) don't get annoyed with you.

Since I've been covering the workplace for more than 15 years, I've spent a lot of time asking some very smart and wise people about a wide variety of issues, ranging from how to get a promotion to how to handle a bully boss to how to get along with co-workers. I've quizzed them about career success, how to get a dream job or what it takes to turn a passion into a paying job.

As a result, I now get a lot of people asking me questions about career success and how to achieve it. I try and pass on the advice and information I have learned from those smart and wise people.

But one thing is starting to become very evident to me. Some of the people who ask for my advice, I know, are going to nod their heads and then never do a darn thing I suggest. At times that has made me feel, well...dumb and not-so-wise. Here I have all this good information to pass along, I think, but they must consider it to be the worst advice ever.

Still, plenty of people have followed the suggestions I've made, and they tell me it has really helped their careers. So what's going on with the people who don't even attempt to change their work behavior?

After some thought, I'm now starting to suspect that the problem goes much deeper than just ignoring any advice I have to offer.

I think that for some people, achieving real career success is a frightening thought. Why? Because if they attain that goal, then they will have to address other issues in their lives -- the bad personal relationships, unhealthy lifestyles or other damaging choices like drugs or alcohol. In other words, as long as they can blame their jobs as the reason they are unhappy or unfulfilled, then they can ignore what really may be going wrong in their lives.

I'm not trained to help people with these issues. The only thing I can offer is what I know to be true in my own life: Jobs will come and go, but you've just got one life to live. Being happy with who you are and the people in your life isn't something you can put off. Once you become satisfied with who you are as a person, then career success will follow - and you won't be afraid one bit.




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Sabotaging Your Own Career

I've spent two decades writing about career challenges and how to get ahead. I've interviewed hundreds of experts and read thousands of pages of research material, trying to find the best information I can to help others be successful in their careers.

And here's the one thing I've come to realize: Some of you simply don't want to get ahead.

That's right. There are those of you in the workplace today who are afraid, for one reason or another, of success.

So, while there can be the best career advice in the world out there (ahem), there are still some people who are just going to ignore it because they're afraid of what might happen if they try.

It's time to own up to the fact that your not getting ahead is not the fault of the boss or your co-workers or even the economy. Nope...it rests squarely on your shoulders, my friend. And while I certainly would never attempt to provide the psychological reasoning behind your fears, I can certainly point out some of the fastest ways to derail your career:

Being late. While some work environments have become more flexible, bosses still don't like it when a worker shows up late, whether it's for a meeting or for work. When businesses decide to cut costs, you can bet some of the most vulnerable to the pink slip will be those who have shown little respect for the boss or co-workers by being tardy so many times. You know deep down that being late is a problem, yet you continue to do it, right? So, why are you doing something so obvious that draws so much attention to you in a negative way?

Procrastination. You put things off as long as you can, and then scramble to get a project done on time. The result is that other team members are truly pissed that they are forced to scramble to get the work done right along with you, and the work you turn in is not really quality stuff. You've known for a long time that this work was due, and several team members offered you help, but you declined. Congratulations! You're now officially considered a bottleneck. Don't count on getting that corner office any time soon and don't be surprised when your team members TP your car.

Being unprofessional. This can range from wearing sloppy, inappropriate clothes to work to talking like a surfer dude to telling dirty jokes at staff meetings. If you come off as immature and unprofessional -- whether you're 23 or 43 -- then the boss will have serious reservations about putting you in any kind of situation where you will be representing the company. (For the record, that can range from answering the phone to attending a key meeting with clients to working a company-sponsored charity event.)

Acting like a jerk. When you don't use basic manners that were drilled into you since kindergarten, when you put others down for the way they look or when you act like a pompous, inconsiderate ass, then you're officially acting like a jerk. These kinds of behavior are like an invisible force field that cause people to stay away from you as much as possible. Kiss success buh-bye.

Finally, let me stress that while there are many other ways you can dig your own career grave, the point is to realize that you may need outside help to understand why you are so clearly setting yourself up to fail. If you consistently fall short in meeting your goals, if you don't take advantage of opportunities that come your way -- then it may be time to figure out not just what you're doing wrong but why you're doing it.



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