Is There Such a Thing as an Overnight Success?

Recently I was having a discussion with some friends about the term "overnight success."

We all agreed it was a load of crap.

I mean, who really has overnight success except people in novels or movies? Most of us labor -- unknown -- in the trenches for years and years before we receive recognition for our wonderfulness from anyone except the family dog.

In the meantime, we fight off jealousy as we see others achieve what we think is instant success, and get depressed when that project we worked so hard on fails. Big time. Down-the-toilet kind of failure.

And it's equally hard to be patient when the Internet makes it seem like everything should happen at light speed. We are constantly exposed on Twitter and Facebook and LinkedIn to other's achievements: "I landed that big account!" to "I got the promotion!" to "I've been named the new Queen of England!" can be hard to swallow with grace each and every time.

We wouldn't be human if we didn't admit that some days are hard. We want to give up. We want to throw in the towel and admit that we're just losers and the success we desire isn't coming our way.

But wait.

I think success is a state of mind. It isn't the big account and the tiara. It's knowing that each day you get up -- and despite the odds -- you continue to slug away. You continue to dream. And at the end of the day, maybe you aren't known to Diane Sawyer or Warren Buffet. Maybe your boss's boss doesn't even know your name.

But you haven't given up. And that, in my book, is success. Because others will give up, they will concede that they're not going to achieve what they desire. And that's where your perseverence will pay off.

Here are some things to get you through the tough times until you become that "overnight success":

* Create a better now. Get more sleep, exercise, eat healthier, spend more time with people who make you laugh and who believe in you.

* Keep your perspective. Did you ever stop to consider that what you have right now is a dream for someone else? I often think about this when my husband and I drive through really ritzy neighborhoods and dream about living in those homes. Then, I see someone drive through OUR neighborhood and realize they think we have the dream home. Think about what you've achieved already in this life, and don't take it for granted.

* Be patient. Think back to when you were in high school, and everything that has happened in your life since that time. Are you the same person as you were then? Of course not. You have changed and grown and only through time and different experiences have you evolved. You will continue to grow and change and learn, and that takes time.

I did stand-up comedy for eighteen years. Ten of those years were spent learning, four years were spent refining, and four were spent with wild success. -- Steve Martin, "Born Standing Up"

What do you think about overnight success?




del.icio.us

LinkedIn Sparks Ongoing Debate

Thom Singer has a rant going about the problems with some people wanting to make a connection to him through LinkedIn when he really doesn’t know them very well. It seems someone got a bit snippy at Singer’s connection rules, and fired off a less-than-professional e-mail to him.

That’s got a lot of people discussing how social networking fits into the networking rules of the workplace. Singer has asked other bloggers to weigh in, and after giving it some consideration, here are some of my thoughts:

1. Would I recommend you for a job? I don’t link to you unless I’ve worked with you in some way or know you personally and feel good about the experience. I don’t want anyone calling me about your work and saying, “What are this person’s strengths?” and I say, “Gee…I dunno.” That makes me look bad, and that’s not what networking is about. It’s supposed to be a win-win for everyone. So, if I don’t connect with you, it’s nothing personal – it’s just that we need more time to get to know one another.

2. Do I think you’re headed in the right direction? If I see someone connecting to a lot of people really fast, throwing invitations out like confetti on New Year’s Eve in Times Square, I hang back. It makes me a bit nervous to see someone collecting connections like they’re Pokeman cards. Those links seem a bit too rushed, and the lack of solid foundation concerns me. It’s sort of like social spamming.

3. Are you doing your homework? If you have no real understanding of what I do and how I do it, then I ignore you. Again, nothing personal, but I’m not into connecting with you if you’re not willing to take the time to get to know me, and help me get to know you. Lazy linkers will always move on to the next person, and that's fine with me.

Finally, I really consider myself a sort of gatekeeper for the other people in my network. They see me as someone they trust, and I don't want to betray that by trust by letting someone in that I really don't know. But, hey, once I get to know you and we connect in an honest way,then welcome to the party, pal.

How the Heck to Use LinkedIn

Several months ago when I got caught up in the frenzy of thinking I needed to get involved in anything that came into my line of sight (see previous post), I was told about LinkedIn.

Immediately I visited the Web site and realized that a) it wasn’t a porn site and b) it was in English – so I signed up. If you had asked me at the time what LinkedInwas exactly, I could not have told you.

Several weeks after that, someone sent me an e-mail and said they had seen my name on LinkedIn. “How,” the person asked, “are you using this?”

Huh, I thought, I kinda wonder that myself. “Not sure,” I quickly responded. “How about you?”

The reply: “I’m still trying to figure that out.”

Welcome to the evolving world of LinkedIn, where everyone seems to sign up but is still learning how – or if – it has value for them. It’s been called everything from the “digital equivalent of chain mail” to “a dorky service” for the "never weres" while others say it has netted them millions of dollars worth of business in a matter of months.

I spent some time talking with Kay Luo, LinkedIn’s director of corporate communications, whose job it is to answer pesky questions from journalists who want to know the answer to this burning question: So, how the heck do you use LinkedIn?

Luo says that LinkedIn is trying to make it clearer how to use the networking site for professionals, providing guidelines online. Luo’s criteria seems pretty straightforward: “I connect with who I would give my cell phone number to,” she says.

In other words, connect with those people you trust, believe in, or know to have qualities you admire. No serial killers, no bullies and no spammers need apply.

There are some great ideas from others who have learned to use LinkedIn effectively, and I’ll post some of those thoughts, as well as my own. If you have anything to add, please let me know in the comments section. We can all learn together.

Using LinkedIn:

1. Add connections. This means more people will see your profileand want to work with you because you know some of the same folks they do.
2. Customize your public profile. Luo told me to select “full view” instead of using the default URL and customize my public profile’s URL to be my name.
3. Check your messages. Try to do this at least once a week. I’ve sent messages to some people and they haven’t responded for weeks simply because they didn’t know to look for e-mail on their site.
4. Be clear about your intentions. Be direct about why you’re approaching someone, and they’re generally happy to help out. Don’t lie or puff up your credentials. The truth will come out and you’ll look like an idiot – and get lumped in with those serial killers, spammers and bullies.