Your Success Is Tied Directly to the Boss

Ask anyone who really enjoys going to work every day, and you’re likely to hear that one of the reasons they like the job is because of the boss. A good boss, it seems, can make even the really bad days bearable. But a bad boss — well, a bad boss makes every day unbearable, no matter how good it is.

And while you may be miserable day in and day out working for a bad boss, it actually gets worse. Because if you’re working for a real jerk, it’s likely that you’re putting career success at risk.

That's because you only can achieve what a boss lets you achieve, and if you’re working for the worst boss since Attila the Hun, then you’re going to have difficulties achieving your goals.

The first thing you have to do when you’re confronted with this situation is realize that you’re not in it alone. If you’ve got a problem boss, then chances are you’ve done nothing wrong and other people are going through the same thing.

That's why it’s important that you deal with a problem boss just like you would any major business dilemma: you do your homework; look for problem areas; make adjustments to fit the demands; and take responsibility for making success happen.

For example, if the boss gets along with other people, study how that happens. Look for the flash points you have with the boss, and how to avoid them. Maybe you always want to talk to him first thing in the morning, but he's grouchy before noon. So, you just delay your talks until after lunch, when he'll be more receptive.

Here are some other ideas for improving your relationship with the boss:
• Let the boss know what’s going on. You come across as being insecure when you sneak around and keep things hidden from management.
• Respect the boss’s position. Even though you may not agree with him or her, the position deserves respect. And, if you look at the results achieved, and not the technique, you may actually learn something.
• Ask what you can do to help. You want to know what you can do that will aid the boss in doing his or her job. Periodically repeat the same question in different ways.
• Let the boss know what can be expected from you. Prove that you’re not afraid of hard work and that you can be depended on to follow through on assignments. Remember: bosses hate surprises, but love hearing, “I’ll take care of it.”




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Understanding the Boss Will Make Your Life Easier

I'm always surprised by the number of people who complain they absolutely cannot get along with a boss. While there are some toxic bosses out there who should be sent to Asshole Island (Bob Sutton gets to pick the spot), the truth is that many employees could find it easier going at work if they just put some thought and effort into the boss/employee relationship. The boss, like anyone else, has joys and sorrows, and the sooner you figure them out, the better your work life will be.

One of the ways to do this is by putting yourself in the boss’s shoes. What are the duties and situations that set your boss off? These are the trigger points that you try to head off before they reach the boss’s desk. At the same time, what are the issues that the manager likes to get involved in? Those should also be your priorities. Because if the boss is happy, chances are the good times will roll for you, too.

Some other strategies to keep you on the sunny side of the boss:
• Managers don’t make mistakes. Or, rather, they make mistakes but don’t want anyone to know about it. Keep such news to yourself, and try and fix any errors quietly and discreetly.
• Never say “I don’t know.” Educate yourself about how your company functions, and who you can go to for answers on various subjects. If you don’t know, you can say to the boss “I know who to ask about that issue.”
• Be a good listener. Take notes if you have to when the boss is giving you an assignment. Most bosses won’t mind if you ask them to repeat something so that you clearly understand it.
• Be on top of key issues. Be aware of what is happening in your industry that will affect your boss’s work. Read industry periodicals, and keep your ears open at industry events such as conferences and trade shows. Keep an eye on what the competition is doing.
• Speak up. If you know of a way to streamline a process or cut expenses, tell your boss. Your good ideas reflect well on him and help him see you as a problem-solver.
• Be a cheerleader. If the boss or your department does good work, ask if you can send the information to an internal newsletter or an industry report. If it’s printed, make sure the boss’s boss gets a copy.
• Be trustworthy. Never repeat anything your boss tells you, and be discreet if you overhear something. If trust is developed with a boss, you may get a chance to hear inside information that will help your career and keep you an important part of your manager’s world.
• Don’t be a whiner. Most supervisor’s automatically shut out the sound of a whining voice. If you have a problem or issue, practice what you want to say so that it sounds logical, not lamebrained. Provide the boss with any date that supports your position. For example, if too many tasks are affecting the quality of your work, map out what happens for a few weeks so that you can present the evidence to the boss. This gives the supervisor hard facts when requesting more resources or personnel from her boss.
• Work on communicating. Much of the friction at work these days is caused by e-mail or voice mail overload, or reports or memos that don’t make sense. Always decide what is the best form of communicating your thoughts, not the easiest or fastest. That way, what you say or write will have impact, not just add to the clutter in your boss’s life.



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Which Came First: The Cliche or the Business?

On my bulletin board there hangs a yellowing slip of newsprint with a "Top 10 Cliches of 2006." I've kept this post because I want to remind myself that no matter how long I've been writing, I can still fall prey to everyday jargon that can only muddy a message.

In fact, the longer I write about the business world, the more I've come to understand that employers are masters at jargon. They spread the stuff like a virus, first using these phrases in management meetings and seminars, then repeating them to employees in internal memos and and meetings. Pretty soon we're all spouting things like "win-win," "core competency" and "pushing the envelope" and before you know it, there are bestseller books talking about "synergy" and "value-added" ideas and "rightsizing."

Over time, I've scribbled my own "do not use" cliches and words to this list, and I'd like to share some of them with you today. Keep in mind, however, that I can be caught at any time using them, but hey, I'm trying. (Is there a recovery group for Business Jargonists?)

Please feel free to add to this list. In fact, we all need to band together and try and stop the madness:
1. At the end of the day
2. Change agent
3. Authenticity
4. Transparency
5. It's not brain surgery/rocket science
6. Throw him/her under the bus
7. Start a conversation
8. Create a new paradigm
9. Level the playing field
10. Wealth of experience
11. Visioning
12. Leverage
13. Blah, blah, blah
14. Show the love

Please, join in. At the end of the day, I want to be as authentic and as transparent as possible, and would like to start a conversation about this topic and level the playing field.

AAAUGH!!!




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Proper E-mail Use Critical to Career Success

Bill Lampton, Ph.D., president of Championship Communication, has served as a source for me many times when it comes to understanding how we can better communicate with one another at work. Recently, I asked him to discuss his newest efforts to teach us all how to be better e-mail communicators.

It's obvious that e-mail is here to stay, yet you say few companies really educate workers about how and why to use it. Is that the only reason that e-mail has gotten so out of control?
No, there are other reasons. We can’t leave the training up to companies alone. Just as parents need to define appropriate etiquette for dining and dating, they should tell their children that their e-mail habits create immediate impressions, too. Then parents can educate them specifically about what to avoid and what to do. Likewise, schools — including colleges and universities — should incorporate e-mail training into their courses.

Communication consultants carry a responsibility in this arena as well. For example, when I direct my all-day seminar on “Business Writing That Works,” I devote the last hour to e-mail guidelines. Usually this segment becomes the liveliest and most beneficial part of the day.

Fortunately, newspaper columnists — including you — write about e-mail protocol regularly. You’ll reach people missed by structured training sessions.

You give us rules for using e-mail such as making sure you use proper grammar and spelling, never writing an e-mail when you're angry and don't try to be funny. But does it really matter if our e-mails don't follow these rules? Why?
Yes, because failing to follow these standards will prevent us from:
• making a favorable impression
• becoming “top of mind” for raises and promotions
• selling to top-caliber customers
• reducing workplace confusion
• avoiding preventable conflicts
• maintaining morale during special challenges, like downsizing, when clarity
and conveying the right mood are essential
• enjoying the level of credibility we aspire to
• responding satisfactorily to disgruntled customers

OK, now tell us what is your most personal pet peeve with e-mails.
My decision on that is easy. Every day, I become impatient with “e-mail overkill.” Just as blabbermouths annoy me with their spoken waterfall of words, e-mailers
who don’t know when to stop get on my nerves.

For example, let’s say someone e-mails you, Anita, commending you for an article you wrote. Courteously, you reply. However, you didn’t mean to initiate daily correspondence. Next thing you know, you’re bombarded with a barrage of jokes (most of which you have seen before), personal histories, and questions about your family, hobbies, and more. Genuine professionals need to remember that “less is more” in
e-mailing. Consider: We have access to someone’s mailing address, yet we don’t send three, four, or five letters daily. We should use the same good judgment when we turn to the computer.

I have observed that the same people who used to flood our in-baskets with reams of paper memoranda now blitz our screens with repetitive e-mails. They tempt me to respond, “I understood you the first time.”

Are there instances where e-mail should never be used?
Definitely:
• When the topic is confidential (salary, grievances, reprimands)
• When only a face-to-face conversation can resolve tensions
• When you want to assure that you convey both content and intent accurately
• When it’s time for you to become more visible as a caring supervisor
• When the intended recipient works in the adjoining cubicle
(An exception: When both of you need a written record of the
communication.)

Finally, what's the best way to sign off on an e-mail?
Sign off with a word or phrase that conveys friendliness without
sounding flippant.

Avoid, except with very close friends or family:
• “Cheers”
• “CYA” (Internet slang for “See you”) and similar e-mail shorthand
• Humor — “You da best, you da most”
• “Cordially” or “I remain yours sincerely” and other obsolete terms
• “Warmly,” “Your greatest admirer” and other expressions that could become
misinterpreted as romantic or at least flirty
• Any signoff that includes an exclamation point

Select a close that’s business-like yet not gushy

• “Best”
• “My best”
• “All the best”
• “Best regards”
• “Sincerely”




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Getting People to Listen to You

Sometimes it can be difficult to really make yourself heard at work. You give suggestions, but they seem to be ignored. You offer opinions in a meeting, but no one really pays attention. You can never get more than a minute of the boss’s time.

Perhaps the problem is not what you’re saying, but how and when you’re saying it.

Let’s say that you’re on the agenda of the next office meeting to give a brief rundown of a project you’ve been working on for several months. You’ve been scheduled as the next to the last item, right after a speech on parking lot safety tips and just before a note about employee benefit enrollment deadlines.

Chances are good that people will not be alert and listening by this point. In fact, they’ve probably started using their Blackberries to respond to e-mails, or text messaging their friends to say that they’re bored spitless in a meeting and can’t wait to escape.

In this case, you should work hard to have your position on the agenda changed before the meeting. Because no matter how interesting your project is, people are probably not going to be in the mood to be receptive and excited about it, simply because they’re tired and fed up and bored. Instead, by getting an earlier time slot, you have a better chance of getting others to listen to you.

Another way to get others to pay more attention to what you’re saying is by joining forces with an already popular person or group. For example, if someone in your office has just gotten major funding for a project, is there a way you can tie your work into that? By piggybacking your efforts onto something that is already well-positioned, you increase your chances of being heard.

Some other ways to get yourself on the radar with others:

· Schedule face time. The boss may be busy, but tell his or her executive assistant you need some one-on-one time with the boss and ask to be put on the boss’s schedule. It helps enormously if you’re polite, friendly and professional with the assistant so that you can get a time slot when the boss won’t be rushed or stressed. Always try to avoid Monday mornings or Friday afternoons, when the boss may be the most distracted.

· Being at the right place at the right time. If an important client or potential customer attends a certain gym, arrange to “run into” them. “Oh, I’m glad I ran into you. I’ve been meaning to give you an update of my project. I’m starting to wind it up, so can I call you this week?” This make it sounds like you’re doing a nice thing, and doesn’t sound needy or pushy.

· Avoiding interruptions. While some people like to schedule breakfast, lunch or dinner meetings, the atmosphere makes it difficult for someone to concentrate on what you’re saying. The serving of the meal, the chatter of nearby customers and other interruptions make it tough to keep the focus on your message. It’s better to try and have a meeting set for a private location where you won’t have distractions.

· Being prepared. Whether you’re speaking to two people or 200, if you want people to listen to you, you must do your homework. Be armed with interesting facts and work on using inflection in your voice as well as some hand gestures. Maintain eye contact. Watch how key players seem to gain the attention of others, and learn from it.

· Listen. The key to communicating well with others is learning to listen so that you can respond appropriately to questions and react to changes in the conversation. People will listen to you when they know you are listening to them.


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Communicating Effectively at Work

I spend a lot of time trying to be a good communicator. Sometimes I’m better at it than at other times (anyone related to me by blood never seems to understand my request to take out the garbage), but I keep at it.

Despite technological advances, trying to communicate effectively can be frustrating. Trying to connect via e-mail or phone can be tricky when everyone is so busy. And to be honest, there are some people I either wish I never had to speak with or give me an overwhelming urge to swat them across the nose with a rolled up newspaper.

We’ve all had those challenges, which seem to be compounded by the increasing stress in our workplace. From the co-worker who is rude and abrasive to the boss who yells, we often have a tough time communicating effectively. Still, there are some ways to not only stand your ground against verbal assaults, but to make sure your message is being heard clearly and directly in this fast-paced communication environment. Try:

• Being straightforward. When you are direct – whether giving positive or negative feedback – it is appreciated by most people. Begin your statement with “I” and deliver it in a way that isn’t mean-spirited. Once you start dishing out the b.s. and being less than truthful, people will be less willing to communicate with you, and that will impact your ability to do your job.
• Learning to say “no” and meaning it. Too often, we say “no” but our whole demeanor conveys our doubt. Learn to say “no” when a request is first made, then state your reason for the denial. Don’t fidget, and make eye contact. This shows that you’re serious about what you’re saying.
• Spotting the mixed message. Haven’t we all dealt with the person at work that smiles or laughs while delivering an insult? For example, this person may say to you: “So, how did you enjoy your two-hour lunch?” That’s when you calmly look the person in the eye and say, “I appreciate your candor, but I think I’m the best judge of how I use my time.” Act as if the message were straigthtforward, or that you’re taking it literally: “Thanks for asking. The lunch was great.” If this fails, you can always become the broken record, repeating that there seems to be a problem: “I feel uncomfortable when you ask me about my two-hour lunch. I’d like you to let me know directly if my going out for a long lunch is a problem from your point of view.”
• Staying calm. When under a verbal assault, don’t offer justifications, apologies or qualifiers, because there is no way to win with a person who yells opinions. (This is especially true if it’s the boss.) Just keep repeating in your mind that the person is acting like a jerk, and keep breathing. In these cases, you might try admitting that there is some truth to what the person is saying, which can buy you some time and help turn down the intensity.

Finally, remind yourself in difficult communication situations at work that when someone is rude, belligerent, yelling or insulting, there may be more at play than you know.

For example, the person may be having a personal crisis, and you responding in kind may be something you come to regret.

Say to yourself: “This is difficult, but I believe in myself. It may be upsetting, but I can deal with it and getting angry only lets the other person win. I can’t control what they say, but I can control my reaction.”